A New Chapter With the opening of our new office space in London, we’ve been reflecting on what really makes a workplace feel like home. Beyond the desks, meeting rooms and fresh paint, it’s the people, and the connections we build, that really shape our daily lives. Delayed Trains and Connections The importance of connection was reinforced to me recently, when the London office team were on our way to join our colleagues from the Wallingford office for a company get-together. As is often typical of UK train services, there was a delay and Rhiannon and I were by chance seated close to each other. What started as general chit chat soon developed into something much more meaningful. As we chatted about our families, we discovered a shared history – turns out, we have friends and family in common! To be fair, it didn’t take too long to ascertain, as there were only so many families in a specific tiny village in Wales in the 1930s… The joy that this news brought to my 90-year-old relative was immeasurable, knowing that the threads of our shared history had quietly woven themselves across generations, and indeed across cities and countries! This family member just so happened to possess a book of poetry written by a relative of Rhiannon’s, complete with a handwritten message (in pure Welsh!) in the insert. It was a pleasure to gift this to Rhiannon, who had never seen it before, and I know it was very meaningful to her. She later told me she was able to share this treasure with her aunt and, as her aunt had felt a much closer connection to this relative, the joy of discovering the existence of this relationship and gaining a family treasure was beautiful. The passing down of a beloved heirloom was an outcome neither of us could have imagined when we boarded that train. The Science of Connection Rhiannon is a member of HRW Shift, our behavioural science team, so of all people she appreciates that from a behavioural science perspective, these moments of connection aren’t just nice, they’re essential. Research shows that feeling connected to others supports our mental and emotional wellbeing. It’s not just about deep friendships; even small, everyday interactions can nourish our sense of belonging. And here it’s important to understand a distinction between need and want, and it comes down to consequences. If a ‘want’ isn’t met we may be disappointed and feel let down, but we get over it, but if a ‘need’ isn’t met then physical, emotional and/or psychological distress and/or harm is an inescapable consequence, we need food, we need water, we need shelter and we need nourishing relationships in exactly the same way. Digging into this a bit more, it’s well established we’re a herd species – the primary reason we thrive on this planet is due to our connections to one and other. We live in communities, learn from each other, and take care of one and other. This is, in no small part, why so many of us struggled during the pandemic when we were unable to meet with and talk to others that usually make up the fabric of our day-to-day life during lockdowns. As a herd species, we need the deep and meaningful relationships like those most of us are fortunate to have with family – which, by the way, means more than blood relatives – many of us have friends that become our family. But, we also need a wider network of more casual, positive relationships which are nourishing in a different way. A team of researchers made a relatively recent discovery observing this, accounting for how these relationships are formed and maintained, something they called ‘Reciprocity in Conversation’ (Guydish, D’Arcey, Fox Tree, 2020). This discovery about our behaviour speaks to the perhaps unexpectedly critical importance of conversations around the water-cooler or coffee-pot at work. When people work together on a task, making time for small talk allows for Reciprocity in Conversation to take place, and when it does it’s associated with significantly high levels of task enjoyment, and as we all know, a happy worker is a productive worker. However… The Challenge Covid brought sweeping changes to the working environment, and one of the few perks of the pandemic is the flexibility it resulted in across the majority of working environments. As so many of us work remotely now it’s common for the average workday to consist of getting the team together through a virtual meeting, which has clear objectives and tasks resulting from it. Efficient, right? But this also means there’s no ‘bumping into Colin from accounts’, no sense-checking something with your work-bestie over the top of computers, and no catch up on the previous weekend’s events in the lift or corridor. Time is structured and built around tasks. And usually when peers are working together on a task it requires one, typically more senior person, to direct the conversation, and this creates a natural imbalance. The person in the leadership position will have a tendency to dominate the conversation, and this can actually have a negative effect on performance as it can limit feedback and engagement. The Magic of Connection This is where the magic of Reciprocity in Conversation comes in. As with many good theories around behaviour, it seems that on some level, consciously or unconsciously, many of us are actually aware of this imbalance, and instinctively take corrective action. Researchers found people often work to re-establish a connection that consists of a two-way flow of conversation that is much more balanced to make sure the other can contribute, and this is especially the case when working on a task together results in clearly defined roles that lead to this imbalance. Reciprocity in Conversation shows that the way to bring balance to teamwork settings may not necessarily be about switching roles but rather, removing the roles entirely and making time to just connect on a personal level. It’s theorised this is because it signals that people are genuinely trying to be considerate of each other, and where could possibly offer greater opportunity to do this, than a casual meeting at the coffee pot or water-cooler?! So if you typically work from home, don’t underestimate the value of making time for regular trips into the office. Try to make the space in your calendar so you’re not back-to-back with meetings for most of the day, and allow yourself a few breaks to grab a mug of something, as it’ll not only benefit your wellbeing, but the wellbeing of your team too! Connecting with Others That train delay reminded us that connection can happen anywhere: on a platform, in a new office, or at the water cooler. And sometimes, those seemingly small moments lead to the most unexpected and meaningful places. So here’s to the power of connection. Don’t underestimate the small moments—they might just lead to something big. By Lucy Saunders and Rhiannon Connolly Ref: Andrew J. Guydish, J. Trevor D’Arcey, Jean E. Fox Tree. Reciprocity in Conversation. Language and Speech, 2020. Apply Now!